Don’t Thank Me, Thank My Adderall!

“Thank you so much!” I said, waving, as I left my interview for a host position at one of New York’s best restaurants. I was drunk on Prosecco after a boozy sushi lunch with my best friend, Marley, who had put me onto the gig in the first place (she worked there). “It’s so easy, all you need to be is pretty and friendly!” she said between bites of her salmon cucumber roll. The restaurant was a block away so we walked over, tipsily, and I was interviewed on the spot. I fit the…

Have you ever been 19, walking the streets of Harlem in 5 inch heels clutching a gold switchblade? I have. Let’s set the scene: I was freshly 19 years old, headed to meet a guy I was seeing. Let’s call him Trevor (because that’s his name). Trevor had been given the duty of taking me to a “surprise party” at my New York City apartment that my friends were throwing me. I was dressed to the nines in a tight as all hell white dress under which I had thrown on two bras (a trick a girlfriend of mine showed…

Nicole Sergeyko

An antisocialite, an expert martini killer, a teller of life stories you can't get anywhere else

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